January update

Thanks to a combination of BT, the Christmas break, and lots of work, it is disgracefully 2 months since I last blogged. Huge apologies, and so here is a whistlestop update.

Work

Over Christmas, I got most of my remaining supporting pieces done. One was for Mission & Ministry, on the issue of boundaries in ministry, and the other three were for Christian Worship - a book review of Paul Bradshaw's work on the Eucharist in the early church, an essay about how WWI affected funeral practice in the Church of England, and an essay on how modern theories of symbolism and ritual can affect our understanding of the sacraments. The latter was by far the hardest one to write, so it is perhaps reflective of the proportionate amount of work that I had to spend on it that I got the highest mark for it!

With the supporting work all but done (there are 3 small pieces still to do), this term is time to focus on my 4 Long Essays (7000 words each!) The aim is to get one done per month; the first is a piece on the thematic coherence of Psalms 42-49, and, with the reading nearly finished, I should be able to start writing it later this week. Ideally, I will be starting essay number 2 next week!

Placement

Still loving my time at Exeter College. Will be preaching at a Eucharist tomorrow night (for the Conversion of Saint Paul), and that has been quite a challenge, considering that the congregation will be mainly highly intelligent academics! I have tried to get a balance between having some interesting theological snippets for them to think about and having an appropriate gospel message. I asked a colleague (who knows what it is like in an Oxford College) to have a quick look this afternoon, and he was very affirming, so that was encouraging! We shall see how tomorrow evening goes!

Later this term I will be leading a Choral Evensong there...in front of a very good choir!

Christmas

Amidst the work, there was time to enjoy a bit of a rest over the holidays, with a week spent at both sets of grandparents. Clare & I even had a chance to go out, just the two of us, for a change! We also went to a Christingle at our old church in Biggin Hill, so lots of people got to meet Nathan there!

Family

Speaking of Nathan, he was baptised in the village church, by the college principal yesterday. It was an extremely moving ceremony, with a number of family and friends, and over half the college there! Will post more about this in a separate blog entry in a day or two.

Advent Sunday

Today marks the beginning of the Advent season, and also the beginning of the new Church Year. This morning, Clare & Nathan came with me to the Eucharist at my placement, Exeter College, and I will be going back this evening for Choral Evensong, which I expect to be hugely impressive, as always!

One tradition we have in our household is to light an Advent candle. I don't mean one like we often see in churches - the Advent wreaths which have 4 or more candles to count down the Sundays, but one in which we light it for a certain amount of time each day, until it burns away to the appropriate number. It's a simple, yet effective way of preparing ourselves for the coming of Christ, and is a great way to have a short quiet time together every day.

This year, Advent will be especially meaningful for us. Not only does it lead up to Nathan's first Christmas (not that he will know much about it!), but it is also my last Advent before ordination. This time next year we will be preparing for Christmas in a new home and new parish. Exciting times ahead, but in the meantime, we still our hearts and prepare for the coming of our Lord.

Reflections on Job

This week, I have been writing an essay with the title, "What solution, if any, does the book of Job give to the question of suffering".

It's an issue which has been around as long as humanity, and one which will never go away this side of the parousia (did you notice the technical word that slipped in there?!) There are many different interpretations of Job - some people say that the problem Job faced (and incidentally, he almost certainly wasn't a historical character, but a 'patriarchal hero' of a folktale, used by the author as the basis for the issue he wanted to explore) -the problem wasn't so much the suffering itself, dreadful as that was, but rather the apparent absence of God in the midst of it. That is why he called out so often to God to come and meet him, to give him an answer, because he needed the reassurance of God's presence in the midst of his devastation.

It has been especially poignant writing this essay now, as a couple of friends (who will obviously remain nameless) are going through some tough times at the moment, and I am left wondering how best to support them. Job's friends spent most of their time telling Job why he was suffering - and indeed, in ancient Israel, theodicy (the defence of God in the face of evil) was often seen as a solace to those in pain, enabling them to turn back to God and be restored. The problem in this case was that it wasn't what Job needed to hear at all.

In Job 13:5, he suggests, with some sarcasm, that the only wisdom his friends have is in their silence. There is great truth in that. What is often missed is that when the friends first arrived, they spent a week with Job sitting with him in his sorrow, without saying a  word.

That suggests to me the answer to how I can support those who are struggling. Often, it is simply a case of sitting with someone in their sorrow that is the greatest help, lending a listening ear, without trying to offer solutions. Yes, there is a time to speak, and at such times we must trust God for the right words to say. But sit in silence first.

More academic results

I've had my results back for the two Long Essays I wrote over the summer, so here they are:

For my essay on the Reformation, I got a 2:1, so very happy with that. But for my essay on The Role of the Ordained Christian in the Workplace, I got a first!! Lots of different feelings going on - gobsmacked being high on the list! As I've said before, the degree is not the main reason that I'm here, but there is nothing wrong with being pleased about this achievement.

As long as I don't let it go to my head...but considering that I'm really struggling to get my head around a course I'm in the middle of called Pastoral Psychology, I don't think there's much danger of that!

First smile!

A bit blurred, sadly, but we had our first genuine smile (ie. not wind-related!) today. Here it is!

Nathan's first smile!

Balancing time

Half-term started at lunchtime today (lasts until Monday teatime), and so this is a good opportunity to stop and reflect on the last 5 weeks.

The biggest challenge over this time has been getting the balance right with regards to use of time. It is so important to get this right now - not only for personal well-being, but also for the well-being of Clare & Nathan, and, in the future, to model an appropriate way of 'being' in a Christian community. So I have deliberately been keeping evenings completely work-free, in order to both have some quality family time, and also to give Clare some help, as she is, of course, looking after Nathan all day! (Although this is one of the great things about being in a community, as she is able to come to college for lunch every day, so we see each other for an hour then).

I know there will be some who disagree, but I believe the calling to be ordained is different from, not more important than, the call to be a husband and father. It's something which has concerned me in the past, as a Church Army officer - seeing some Christians (not just clergy) spending far more time engaged in 'churchy' activities than with their families.

This, to me, is simply wrong. I believe God has, for want of a better expression, a 'holistic approach' when he calls individuals. By that I mean that he calls the whole person, which includes everything about them, such as family, interests, previous experiences and so on. This doesn't mean that we stay as we are - more often than not there is transformation, renewal, growth and more. And there will be aspects of our lives that we are called to leave behind. But we remain, intrinsically, the person we were when "God formed us in the womb".

And so to the importance of getting the balance right. Or, more accurately, of not compartmentalising our essential personhood into different categories, but rather allowing our faith and our calling to permeate every aspect of our lives. If Christ is at the heart of our lives, we will find him at the heart of our relationships with others, at the heart of our work, at the heart of our leisure activities. And then the question of balance becomes a moot point, as the God who is interested in every aspect of our lives will prompt us whenever we start paying too much attention to any one at the expense of others.

Before the ending of the day

So last night, I led Compline for the second time since arriving at college. For those wondering, yes I did sing it! This is one of my goals for this year: to become more confident and competent in singing the offices - to that end, I intend to lead Compline at other points during the year, and have signed up to an optional group that will look at singing the liturgy of the Eucharist after Christmas. I have no illusions about becoming an 'expert' singer, but if I can reach the stage where I am at least competent, then I will be happy.

From that point of view, last night went well, I think. Two people who were there commented positively, so that is a good sign! I naturally sing it a little slower than most people - I suspect that is something to do with breath control - but that isn't wrong, simply different.

Compline itself is a lovely service, and one that I sadly don't get to as much as I would like. To quote the Church of England, it is above all a service of quietness and reflection before rest at the end of the day. At Cuddesdon, it marks the beginning of the 'Greater Silence', after which no one speaks until breakfast the following day. As a peaceful way of rounding off the day, it is something which I find immensely valuable.