Leavers' Service

That's it. My time at Ripon College Cuddesdon is over. (Notice I don't say that my training is finished - there's still a lot more of that to come, both during my curacy and afterwards).

We finished our time here with the Leavers' Service this morning. It was a good way to end, with the whole community coming together to celebrate the Eucharist. At the end of the service, those of us who will be ordained later this year went forward to have our deacon's stoles blessed, and then our families joined us to be blessed together. It was very important to me to have Clare & Nathan there at the end, as my ordination will have a profound effect on their lives as well.

After that, there were lots of goodbyes, although we'll still see a few people as we are not moving until Wednesday next week. The good thing is that there are a few ordinations we will be going to next week, so friends will be seen again very soon! The challenge is to make sure those friendships are maintained past the summer.

I will post again before we move with a few reflections on my time here at Cuddesdon, so look out for that one!

One term to go!

5 terms through my training, only one to go now! These last few weeks have been a time of transition, as one-by-one, I have passed on various roles I have had in college life to others. I have organised my last election, calculated my last bar bill, and prepared my last Kids' Church session. If it weren't for the essays still to finish, I wouldn't know what to do with myself!

That's not strictly true, of course! Although it's quite a lot of pressure, I am sort of pleased that the essay deadline is at the start of next term (May 2nd), as it will leave the rest of the term to focus on the awesome prospect of ordination later in the year. I won't actually be ordained until September 10th, later than most of my colleagues here, but we will still be sharing the preparation time together.

In the meantime, however, these essays need to be done! We've had a week away, but now it's regular trips to the library. Ideally, I want them finished by Holy Week, which we experience together as a college community this year. As part of my goal to achieve 'competence and confidence' in liturgical signing this year, I have joined the choir for Holy Week, so am learning to sing in parts for the first time. It's very tricky singing the tenor line, when the tune I know is being sung by someone else!! But I am enjoying learning, and it will be a useful skill to have in the future, for sure.

Vestments

Today we had the annual college 'Tat Fair' - a time when a number of vestment companies visit college to enable us to buy the robes and other things we will need when we are ordained. Being in my final year, it brought home to me how close I am to being ordained! (Even if Rochester does wait until September, a couple of months after most of my year will be ordained).

It was somewhat surreal trying on clerical shirts - with the collar inserted!

I have also finally decided on a design for my deacon stole (after having no idea what I wanted!) Rather than try and describe it, I will wait until the person making it sends me their 'artist's impression'...and then post it here!

Church Army news

Some big news from this term is that I have written to Church Army to resign my commission as a CA Evangelist.

This is a decision that has taken much thought and prayer in reaching. The seeds were sown in the first week of training here at Cuddesdon, when I distinctly felt God challenge me over the fact that I had basically not put any thought into the matter whatsoever. (That was because there is no requirement to resign until ordination itself, which, of course, was 2 years away at that stage).

I therefore spent a lot of time reflecting on that, as well as speaking with my spiritual director, another CA person here at college, and one or two other people, before reaching my decision.

There were a number of reasons why I came to the decision to resign, the most important of which is to do with my formation as an ordained priest. I felt that, the longer I remained a commissioned CA Officer, the more it was getting in the way of my formation as a priest. God, after all, is calling me away from licensed lay ministry into ordained ministry.

This is not a case of one being better than the other, simply of there being a distinct difference. I am also not going to stop being an evangelist! Again, it is a calling to something different, of which evangelism is a part. The 12 years with Church Army have been immensely valuable, both in terms of God preparing me for this stage of my life, and, I hope, in being of some use during that time to others!

It was a very strange feeling both writing the letter, and then posting it. There was most definitely a sense of sorrow, but also a sense of release, if that makes sense, in that I am no longer holding onto something which God is calling me to let go of.

Making this decision has given me this period of Lent to reflect upon it and let go, with the promise of Easter and 'new birth' to look forward to!