Steppin' Stone

So much for writing at least once a week on the Blog! Ordination training really is incredibly tense!

Much as I love the theological study, it can get quite intense, so I'm very grateful for the two very different placements I have each week. I've mentioned before my Sunday placement at St. Barnabas; today I'll say a little about my midweek one.

Thursday evenings, I'm a volunteer at the Steppin' Stone project for homeless and vulnerably housed people. I won't go into all the details of it here - follow the link to find out more about what it does. My role is to work as part of a team, chatting with the members, serving food and washing up, and helping to clean up afterwards.

I've only had two weeks there so far, but I've already had a number of good conversations with people, and am learning a great deal about the issues facing homeless people today. It's also a valuable experience for me to be a volunteer - having spent the last 9 years working with volunteers, and, of course, moving into the same situation at the end of training! It's very useful to see what it's like from the other side of things! And, personally, it's very fulfilling, and it's helping to keep everything I'm doing at college grounded in the real world - something which could easily be forgotten in a community like RCC, as wonderful as it is!

1st Assistant at College Eucharist

So it's been an afternoon full of firsts today!

This week, my College Group has responsibility for College Worship. That means we do pretty much everything, apart from presiding at any Eucharists. So this afternoon, the whole group cleaned the church, and then we rehearsed for the early evening Eucharist.

The rehearsal was absolutely vital, as I had volunteered to be 1st Assistant, without realising that, because it was a Festival (St. Simon and St. Jude), we would be using incense.

Now, the 1st Assistant has a pretty major role - they carry the cross, lead the time of confession, read the Gospel, lay the altar for communion, and say the dismissal. Now, none of that was particularly daunting before I knew that incense was involved, having done pretty much all of them at some point in the past. However...

Those of you who know about the use of incense are probably already ahead of the game in knowing what I'm about to say! Yes, when incense is used in a service, that means the Gospel is censed before it is read. So, as 1st Assistant, that was my job - having never even held a thurible before!

Hence the rehearsal! Of course, I had to be shown how to hold it, and how to swing it (my first attempt in the rehearsal, I was a little too close to the book...) I was VERY grateful to the other members of Group D for their patience and support! In the end, I think everything went off fairly well - I don't think there were any glaring errors, anyway - and it does feel good to have done something new in the worship of God. But next time it's our turn to lead the worship, I will let someone else have a go at being 1st Assistant!

Update: essays, swine flu and catching breath!

The last two weeks have, frankly, been a whirlwind. There has been so much to get my head around that I only now have a half hour window to finally get onto the blog! So here's a whistle-stop update...

Essays

I think I have mentioned that I have to produce an essay a week, to be discussed in Monday afternoon seminars. They are alternating between Old & New Testament texts each week; so far, there have been essays on Paul's presentation of himself as a model to the Corinthian Christians, an analysis of the Genesis flood story in comparison with the other flood stories of the world at that time, a look at Paul's use of the word 'body' in 1 Corinthians, and, the current one, how (if at all) the book of Deuteronomy can be used in Christian thought.

It's all fascinating stuff, and it can be very easy to get sidetracked into a particular idea - I have to be very careful to stick to the question being asked!

Lectures

These tick along, with the addition that the Thursday morning Oxford University lectures have begun. We have three of them back to back (1 hour each): Old Testament, Patristics and Paul. It's a long morning, but again very interesting.

Placement

St. Barnabas Church has been very welcoming to us in the two weeks we have been there. It is a very different spirituality to anything I have seen before - and I have a fair amount of experience! - and there are lots of questions I would like to ask about the way things are done. To give one example: the Gospel isn't read - it's sung! I have never seen that done before, so am keen to find out what the theology and/or spirituality is behind that.

College Life

We are well settled now, and are getting used to the different rotas there are. Next week, my Group is on Worship Duty, so we lead services, read, assist at Eucharist, etc. I shall be wearing my cassock for the first time on Monday! I will also have a new experience at Wednesday Eucharist, when I will be Assistant 1 - this means that I lead Confession and read the Gospel (nothing new there), but also that I prepare the table - and this will be done from behind the altar (facing the congregation). Obviously, I have assisted as sacristan loads of times before...but never from that perspective. I have a feeling that it will feel very different!

Swine Flu

Last, but by no means least, this has been a very tough week, because poor Clare has caught the dreaded Swine Fle (as has half of college). She's close to recovery now, but was wiped out for the first few days. The Tamiflu brought her high temperature down straight away, thank goodness - it doesn't do that for everyone. Of course, it's meant a lot of dashing backwards and forwards for me, as I haven't wanted to leave her on her own too long. But, like I say, she's nearly back to full health, thank goodness!

That's a very quick update for now - I hope to have time to do another post over the weekend, but with this essay on Deuteronomy to finish, we may have to see about that one!

Lectures underway

So much for the plan to post more regularly! Last week - the first full week of lectures - has been so busy that it's been hard just finding time to draw breath! Add to that a stinking cold which affected me for a few days, and it kind of feels like I've been treading water recently, just to stay afloat. But it seems to be on the mend now, so hopefully next week will be better!

As I'm on the Bachelor of Theology course, I have twelve lectures a week (all in the morning, and three of them in Oxford on Thursdays). Some of these are specific to the BTh, others are standard in this term for all 1st years, and one of them - Greek - is optional.

Afternoons are generally set aside for personal study, reading, essay writing, etc, although I do have a seminar on Monday afternoons, and a placement on Thursdays.

Speaking of placements, I have been given mine for the first two terms. I shouldn't talk about the Thursday one yet, as the person who will be my supervisor is away at the moment, but my Sunday one will be at St. Barnabas, Jericho (in the centre of Oxford). I don't know a lot about it yet, except that it is Anglo-Catholic - and that is what I had asked for, having little experience of it to date. Clare & I are going there tomorrow, with another 1st year, so I will report back on my first impressions afterwards!

Cuddesdon School of Theology and Ministry

Some of you who know us may well be asking where Clare is in all of the busy-ness of induction week. Well, she's getting herself well involved in the life of the college community (the weekly Partners' Bible Study is tomorrow morning), and she's still looking for work (with no success yet - the remoteness of Cuddesdon and her non-driving severely narrows her options).

But we have been delighted to discover a fringe benefit of my training at Cuddesdon is that all partners are invited to join the new Cuddesdon School of Ministry & Theology. I won't go into the details here, as you can read more about it by following the link - but this is a fantastic opportunity for Clare to do some theological study of her own, and, as the course info says, to perhaps discover more about her own vocation - it's not just to be a vicar's wife!

The induction day for Clare is this Saturday, so do please keep her in your prayers as she joins with several other partners, and other external students, in this exciting new venture for her.

The still small voice...

Induction has continued at a fast pace this week, with very little time to stop and draw breath. There have been lots more "introductions", and I have my first work to do in preparation for a New Testament seminar next Monday.

The essay title is: "Analyse the different ways in which Paul presents himself as a model in 1 Corinthians" - we don't have to do the essay this week, but we will for every subsequent week. With the lectures, placements and various community activities going on, balancing time is going to be very important!

In the midst of all this new information, however, we had a session with the principal that was much more of a "stop and take stock" time. And this is where I heard the still small voice of God.

As I've said, I've been hyped-up and excited about term finally starting, and wasn't feeling any fears or concerns that some of my peers have. But, after Martyn gave us a little reflection on the story of Jonah, he gave us space to go and be - whatever, wherever - and to come back if we wanted. During that space, I've felt God challenge me about a particular "letting go" that he may want me to do. I'm not certain yet, and I don't want to write any more about it this moment, but I have some serious reflection to do on this topic, so will no doubt be back with more news at a later date!

Formation & Theology

It's been an intense day today, with a lot of input, handouts, and sitting around listening to people! I realise it's necessary this early, as it's pretty much the only way to give us a lot of information that we need to understand how things work, but I am looking forward to when things become a little more interactive!

This morning was a lot about the process of ministerial formation - basically, taking the nine Criteria for Selection that form the basis of the discerning process before being recommended for training, expanding them into various areas of development that should happen during training, and how to assess progress and growth in each area (which takes place largely through personal reflection, alone and with relevant others). This is of vital importance, as, with all the academic work that needs to be done, it can be easy to become so focused on the latter that the former is neglected. But, of course, I am not in training to achieve a degree from Oxford University - I am in training to become and ordained priest in the Church of England. The process of ministerial formation is crucial in keeping the focus where it needs to be.

That said, the academic side of it is important as well, and we heard about the structure of the Theology degree this afternoon. There are 16 of us doing the BTh (others in my year are doing different academic courses), which is the largest number for some time, I believe. We have various lectures to go to (including some in Oxford), and a weekly seminar (in groups of 8), for which we all need to prepare an essay. So yes, that means I will be writing an essay a week!

Finally today, we met with some of the 2nd years doing the same course to hear their perspectives on it, having had a year's experience. It's going to be hard work, no doubt, but they gave us some survival tips! I have to say, though, that I'm a little worried - not because I'm daunted by the prospect, but because I'm not daunted. Some of the other ordinands were expressing various feelings, and the 2nd years were saying they were not to worry - they'd all been there, and it was good to be feeling what they were feeling.

The things is: I'm not feeling that at all - I'm just excited at the prospect of being here, studing theology, drawing closer to God (and being changed through that), and the whole being prepared for ordained ministry! Maybe this is due to my having already had nine years of licensed ministry within the CofE, maybe not. And I know we can't (or shouldn't) pretend to be feeling things that we're not. Maybe the excitement will wear off or be replaced by other feelings soon enough.

But what I do think is important is this: while I feel excited and energised and close to God, I need to be supporting those of my peers who are feeling under pressure, scared, daunted or whatever else. This is part of what it means to be at a residential college - we are all going through the same process, and need to develop that interdependence that Paul speaks of in 1 Corinthians 12 (the church as the Body of Christ). I feel strong now, so can support those who feel weak; and when I feel weak (which will surely happen at some point in the next two years), then I will be able to look to others for support from their strength.